Here's a thing. . .

I am so so so sorry that I have not blogged in 4 months (!). Really there is no excuse.

I am hoping that there are still some of you out there who still check this little peek into my vida. Maybe by some chance I am still on your little RSS feed or blogger subscriber, or whatever these space age programs are.

I can assure you that there have been many, many, many times that I have wanted to share with you all here. The truth is that the past couple (x2) of months has been filled with some things that just give you heavy boots. I might share a bit of it here. If you don't want to read it because it is depressing there will be no judgment from me.

I temped a job for a bit that just showed some really sad parts of humanity. I will spare you all of the details, but I was a victim advocate and I spent a lot of time in court listening to people make excuses for really awful choices that harmed other people. I felt sad and frustrated that we are in a state of things where violence is normalized and excused.

It is also a bit hopeless to know that these men (usually men) are going to go in to a system that does not have any productive ways to rehabilitate them so they will be released and then hurt someone else (or the same person again).

A really beautiful part of that experience was watching women really find their voice and strength again. I had a woman say to me at a sentencing this morning that she was feeling really bad about this whole thing and blaming herself and then she realized 'wait, I didn't hit me, he did'. Love it.

I had the advocate who I was filling in for tell me that she spoke to a Victim who I had worked with. The Victim told the advocate that she really appreciated talking with me and then she paused in the conversation and said "I love her".

That makes it all worth it.

oh heyyyy . . .

i'm going to Cal-i-for-ni-a tomorrow biotches.

I will be soaking up the sun and NOT working. It will be glorious.

I will be doing lots, but mostly getting sunburned hoping it will turn in to a tan.

Get the move on

Last night I was watching TV and this commercial came on for something (obviously ineffective because I do not remember the product) . It was talking about how when we travel or move to a new place we are more inclined to be adventurous, try new foods, go new places, talk to different people etc.

I was having that exact thought at dinner earlier on in the evening. I was at a restaurant/bar that I had never been to before. I thought to myself 'I have lived in this city for 5 years and I have never been here'. I just realized that we kind of get into a life routine. Even though Seattle is a big city, I am young, I don't have a whole lot of responsibilities, I still just get in a rut.

I always feel like I don't 'get out' enough. But the truth is, I really don't want to. I would rather drink a glass of wine (or three) at home with my roommates and watch a movie. I think I need a bit of a kick start. I am craving an adventure, but for some reason life keeps getting in the way.

I am constantly battling the feeling that I am too young to be so boring and then feeling like I am almost 25 (!) and there is a lot I wanted to accomplish at this point in my life and I better get on it.

Sidenote: One of those things would be having a family. I think that this adventure or getting out would make that a bit more possible. Let's just say that my current pool of men does not exactly include anyone that ideal (cops) .

Sometimes I think that I should take a year and travel, get fresh perspective.

How would I pay for that? That takes a year out of any sort of career track. Would I just miss my Seattle life the whole time?

Alas, I arrive at the rut again and settle in.

Let's call it what it is

First read this news story
Father's deadly rage ignited by breakup


This is our response in 200 words to the editor of the Seattle Times

Seattle Times reported the homicide of five children by their father in Graham without naming the abusive behavior patterns this family experienced as domestic violence. While the report outlines classic signs of abuse, such as the abuse of pets, children’s fear, murderous jealousy, and tracking one’s partner through GPS, it calls James Harrison’s behavior expressions of “rage.”

Until we start recognizing and naming domestic violence, we as a community will continue to sensationalize these horrific domestic violence homicides every time they make headlines. Sensationalizing these stories does not help us hold abusers accountable for their behavior – not just for murderous behavior, but for the systematic abuse and control that usually precedes a homicide.

The 2008 WSCADV Fatality Review states that since January 1997, “430 people were killed by domestic violence abusers in Washington State,” and, alarmingly, between 1/3 and ½ of women murdered in WA state “are killed by their current or former intimate partners” (7). We challenge media to report these incidents for what they are: cases of domestic violence. Naming domestic violence allows readers to identify patterns of abuse in their own lives and to recognize the real, fatal, danger it poses to our community.

An Explanation

So I knew when I made my new habits that this would probably not be one that I was going to keep. I just don't want to write about shallow shit. It is boring and then I am afraid I will loose all of you, my loyal readers. I will, however blog a couple times a week with something of semi depth.

Day 3: successful in the sleep and work out

Day 4: successful in the sleep

Day 5: Today. I really don't want to work out because basically my uterus is making me want to put a fork in my eye. My roommate told me that I should walk and I would feel better. bitch.

I am working a LOT this weekend so I will probs have some good things to share about that.

Tonight

I almost failed.

It was late and I just got home and didn't want to exercise, but I did. I got my pretty little behind in gear and grabbed a roommate and went on a walk . . . and then I wanted french fries.


Tonight I had dinner with the family I babysit for. I literally watched a baby move inside of the mom's stomach.

Some days I wish that having a baby was closer in the future.


Day 2: Successful

Here's the deal

I am starting some new habits.

Habit #1

Go to bed by midnight every night
(I tried this last night and then woke up multiple times in the middle of the night with sharp pains in the abdomen. When I am half awake this pain makes me think that I might be dying when really it is just gas. I am hoping tonight goes better).

Habit #2

Work out for at least 20 min everyday
(I have a very loose definition of 'working out'. Tonight it meant eat three cookies and do 20 min of very non-strenuous pilates).

Habit #3

Blog once a day
(I know, I know you are about to hyperventilate because you are so excited, but please calm down. There probably won't be much depth in these parts because let's be real you can't be this beautiful and be deep all the time).


I'll let you know how it goes.

Day 1: successful